DATELINE: HUMOR! No one on the New York Jets has ‘fessed up to putting the damnation of the gods upon Tim Tebow. A dozen teammates allegedly put more knives into Tim’s back than Julius Caesar received from his brutes. On the other hand, no one has come forward to say much in Tebow’s favor—except how bad he must feel. Feeling bad is nothing for a quarterback. Some are facing dizziness, headaches, and assorted confusions/contusions. Others yet are sleepless from stabbing dislocated ribs. If it were April 1st, we could attribute all hullabaloo as a joke, however punk in tone. We presume no one is more suitable to be punked than Tebow. Alas, it is already November--and it is not Sweet November for the Jets. They are like a turkey ready to be stuffed on Thanksgiving when they play the New England Patriots not far from where the first Turkey Day feast took place. The Jets are already carving up their bird. If Jets players are to be believed, Tebow is the butterball—and won’t be the starter against Tom Turkey Brady. Whether Tebow is stuffed already and mounted like a prize bird for the holiday, he seems to be a turnip that everyone will pass on during the meal pregame and postgame. No one expects to hear Tiny Tim Tebow asking to bless us everyone in the Jets locker room, though Bill Belichick is happy to play Scrooge in one more matchup with the Jets. After leaving John Denver, the taxi squad’s waiting for Tebow, and Tim must feel so lonesome he could die.
- Tim Tebow